Sunday, February 3, 2008
The Real Superbowl Losers...
The biggest losers had to be the AD AGENCIES. Some of the worst ads I have ever seen. I was going to review the best ads, but I can not even think of one! I’m really sorry that this technology that can make babies look like they’re talking came along. Now it’s in all these commercials. Talking babies are stupid. Babies can’t talk, and if they could they wouldn’t be talking about E Trades. They have more pressing issues like why is there a scary clown at my party?
Because of such a disgusting show of lack of creativity and outrageous hackneyed humdrum (I think everything was either bodily secretions-- the baby puked in the E Trade ad-- or contrived, seen before sexual overtness), I am asking you to boycott the following products:
1. E Trade
2. Planters Nuts-- wow was that a horrible and unrealistic payoff
3. Cars.com-- for the shrinking head thing.
4. Wall E (some stupid movie that made me realize if massive amounts of people go see this-- I do not belong in this world.)
5. G2 (Gatorade) Gatorade is dog's best friend. It is probably harmful to a dog.
6. Taco Bell for using cliche sexual gestures that we have seen a million times before.
7. Bridgestone because they did not hit Richard Simmons.
8. Tide To Go... the talking stain looked like a penis. I would prefer a more female looking stain.
And then there was one for Amp Energy-- in this ad a goofy, overweight, white guy dancing (have we seen this before???) puts jumper cables to his nipples and jump starts a girls car... while chugging Amp Energy for power. I CAN NOT WAIT to hear about some buffoontard actually trying to do this. It will happen. And I hope they tape it for Youtube. Get ready for the lawsuit Amp.
So many Budweiser ads that my Corona started to taste like a Budweiser. I want a horse now.
The closest thing to funny was the Careerbuilder.com ad where a womans heart jumped out of her chest and went into the bosses office and quit. And even that didn't do much for me. But the initial action of the heart jumping out of her blouse and onto her keyboard was funny. (Although I would've rather seen her vagina jump out and quit. We've never seen that in an ad before. And I would suspend my protest of overt use of sex in ads to see that.)
Absent were all political ads. It would have been nice to tie in Superbowl Sunday with Super Tuesday. WHAT A SUPER WEEK!
If you want to pain yourself and see any of these ads as a point of reference to my above commentary, they are all on
(And as I take a deep breath, I disappear back into my brain.)