Friday, January 18, 2008

FIRE SALE: A bad time to advertise (on the internet)

Why I'm rooting for Myspace

I can't figure out Facebook for the life of me. Somebody threw a donkey at my last night! Whatever that means. And I keep getting poked-- which is not necessarily a sexual thing-- too bad. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I tried to upload a video or customize my page like Myspace to no success. I am embarrassed by my Facebook page. It's got nothing on there and yet more and more people are driven to it than my Myspace. And whatever happened to Friendster-- what did they do so wrong that they are the Alta Vista of social networking? The main problem with Myspace is the barrage of advertising. Ok, you want me to say it, I'll say it-- I can't keep up. You win technology-- you win kids with all your free time, zits, hormones, fast metabolism, hope, donkey throwing, hyperactive ADD, and web brilliance. I bow out.

Stop Wrting Books!

Stop writing books-- let us catch up! There are too many books. Too many books I still have to read... from high school. I haven't even finished reading some of the original classics. And each year new books are added to the classics list. Maybe we need to remove some books from the classics shelf? Moby Dick-- no longer a classic! Sorry Melville, but we have the "Kite Runner" now.

Bottom line, there’s too much to read. (Including what you are reading right now.) Everyday someone tells me another book "I have to read." "You've gotta read it, I wasn't able to put it down." And I read a lot of these books that are "supposed to change my life." And they don't. I'll see a profile on someone and they'll say something like, "I thought of Google when I was reading 'The art War." I read it-- NOTHING. Not one life change thought. So what now? Read more?

It’s an impossible task. I have a stack of books that just keeps getting taller and taller and dustier and dustier. And it’s getting worse-- every year people keep writing new books. It’s not gonna stop. Maybe we should stop writing new ones and all catch up. It’s getting ridiculous. There are more classics I have to read than my parents had to. And my kids will have to read more than I did.

And nobody wants to read that much. Even as a kid you would watch the movie instead of reading the book for class. I’m sure it’s always been like that… "Did you read the New Testament?" "Nah, I read the old one- couldn't get through it- it wasn't that realistic- I kept falling asleep... I know it was on the New Jerusalem Times bestseller list." I imagine this dialogue played out: "Did you read Shakespears latest?" "Nah, I'll wait until it comes out on play."

Pencils down.