Friday, February 22, 2008

Orny vs The Panda

I'm out of the viral game! Done. What was supposed to be an exciting event in my life... having a video featured on the front page of Myspace.com turned into a harsh reality and wake up call for me. Watch and learn.



Other names for this blog could be:

• Panda’s ass more interesting than me
• Panda Butt 235,512 --- Orny’s Butt 6,986
• Orny vs Panda. Panda wins pants down
• Panda video is even better the third time you watch it
• Why video blogging sucks
• In the cyber world I am a loser
• This is what’s wrong with the internet
• Is that really a panda?
• Get me a pole. I can do that!
• I give up
• Who represents that panda?
• I thought the panda was over acting
• This is why I hate the world
• If you passed along the link for the panda video you should not be allowed to vote in the presidential election or American Idol
• I thought panda butt scratch video was far too short

Here's a link to "Dog's NOT on Leashes" blog: Dogs NOT on Leashes

13 comments:

Steph said...
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Steph said...
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RichJeniFan said...

You son of a... I tried my damndest to make it a goal NEVER to watch the panda ass-scratch video, and what did you do? Put in two of 'em! Well, thank you for THAT, pal!

Although I guess it could've been worse. It could've been a street shot of you scratching your ass on a light pole. But hey, maybe that would've gone viral? "ORNY ASS SCRATCH." Or you turn around and suddenly it's "ORNY POLE DANCING." (Just joking. Please don't.)

And screw the Panda watchers. "Dogs NOT On Leashes" is CLASSIC! An excellent pieces of work.

barb said...

aw, man, there ain't no justice in this world. (Ain't much good grammar either.)

Keep fighting the good fight, Orny.
(I have no idea what that means.)

Anonymous said...

Orny, I would rather see you than any other video. I have seen animals do all kinds of stuff. Who cares. I wonder if those 23,000+ perople or the one person who watched the panda scratch his ass 23,000 times are even registered to vote or have ever read a book. Orny, your blogs are terrific. They are the stuff dreams are made of. I think some dork with a panda ass scratching fetish watched that video over and over again. Orny you are a comic genius, an intellectually stimulating speaker and a sex symbol. Don't let the finicky internet get you down. I wish you had time to make a new video every day. I would rather watch you doing your taxes or clipping your toenails than some Panda with booty itch.
Love,
Michelle

Anonymous said...

Awwwww, don't be down!...actually that is exactly how I found your Dogs not on leashes video...when I ventured onto Myspace that day it was a toss up between yours and two people antagonizing a little dog with wild geese!*sheesh*... I chose yours instead!...much better quality and substance...and you're not too bad on the eyes either..and yes, I have 20/20...;)

-Caroline

Coleman said...

Those are probably the same people who watch Are You Smarter Than a 5th grader.

pixiespork said...

Bah, I agree with everyone. You are nice on the eyes, you're funny in an intelligent way, and you share your opinion on things with a "I don't care if you like me or not" attitude. Those are the reasons your fans love you! Most of the people who make up the viewing public of Myspace are pedphiles, trollers, and immature children with too much time on their hands. Those of us in the "higher" bracket are more discerning in what we thing is interesting videos and screen them accordingly. So you should feel honored that we have added you to our list of "must sees".

Although, I like the idea of you pole dancing....ahem..nevermind. :)

pixiespork said...

Damn too many typos in that comment above....please excuse.

Just call me Katie! said...

Well doesn't that just take the rag off the bush!

The Actress said...

Maybe you should try scratching a panda's ass? Just think, if it works, you'll get more hits AND you'll have made a cute, new friend.

Then again....

Maybe it is because the word "butt" appears in the title. So, take it a step further. Find an itchy donkey somewhere, lead it to a pole and create a video called "Ass Scratching Ass." You can do the play-by-play commentary.

I am a fountain of suggestions.

ADEEEL said...

Good one! Yeah, Pandas are cute and all, but what about us poor artistic folk who put our brain cells and sperm into every project we create? Where are all the MySpace users who should be watching or reading our golden moments of brilliance? Where's the love?

It's all going to a panda scratching his bamboo chute infested butt crack on a metal pole, that's where. But it's not poor Joe Panda's fault. I'm sure that if he were cognizant of what was going on around him, he would prefer to have a little privacy during his moment of crisis (as well as longer arms and a roll of toilet paper).

No, the blame for this atrocity rests solely on the brain-dead individual who considered Mister Panda's itchy gluteus one of the great moments in cinematic history. I can just picture this would-be Scorsese scouring the entire underside of the animal kingdom for his inspiration.

"Hey, is that chimpanzee jacking off over there? QUICK! GIVE ME MY CAMCORDER!!!!"

But what are we to do? Should we pander to our missing audience and scratch our asses on metal poles as well? Maybe we should emulate back yard wrestlers and jump off the roofs of our houses through fold out tables while dressed in panda costumes? Perhaps the answer is hidden within the similar sounding "pander" and "panda"?

As Criswell declared in the end of Plan 9 From Outer Space, "God help us in the future."

Bye Bye Now!

Carl

Steph said...
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